The Angel Card
When I was crossing the Wall of Fire, in my home, I could feel the burn, I felt like wings came out of me, in my back. I said out loud, how many times have I died here? It was a weird feeling, a wild experience. I could feel wings come out of my back ok, it was weird lol, but cool at the same time.
I knew I wasn't an angel. That would be wrong ok. I'm just a woman. It's a combination of different things. To sit here and say I'm an angel or was one would be arrogant and not ok. I don't have any wings on my back ok lol I think we all want to play that game, who doesn't want to be an arch angel? lol
In Scientology, we would say, that's a religious implant.
I did my homework
when I created this graphic novel
art helped me heal, but it wasn't until I went on my soulmate journey,
to find him,
Not interested in getting laid or having sex or fake O's. Boring, yawn, been there, done that.
when I was out walking around going from business to busines, I would
talk to some business owners and the ones that were lying to me, the ones
that were 1.1. in covert hostility, they started turning into demons
ok, it was weird, like my graphic novel ok lol. I was still crossing the
wall of fire. So I just went into my
character and grounded myself in my catholicism and my religion Scientology.
My mother's computation back in 2008, when she wanted me to go to sleep in her house, was "I'm gonna kill you, in your sleep".
I couldn't sleep, I was spinning around, I just knew, not to go to sleep. I didn't know why, I didn't feel safe in her home, I didn't feel safe having her or my step father have access to me while I was sleeping.
kept getting up and she just kept yelling at me. I finally went back to
the guest house. I didn't know what to do. I started getting scared. I
didn't know where to go to be safe, alone, so I went into the closet.
I didn't trust these two people. I took melatonin but that didn't solve the problem, it was expired. They never bothered to look at the expiration nor get new ones.
I've always lived sparingly. I guess the art term would be minimalist. That's who I am and I love who I am.
When I created Gabrielle The Fallen, behind the gated new homes in Sylmar, Moutain Glen Estates, on Mesa Verde Way behind me was a Church, for Nuns. I felt safe in that home. I knew I was protected. I could always go there, if I needed help. Hmmm, what are the odds? http://youtu.be/UmzDyOAaRJE
My celibacy started there, the last relationship I had was when I was working at Mole Richardson. I also had the pleasure of meeting Laszlo Kovacs while he was still alive. Did you know he smuggled film out of Hungary and brought it all the way to the US, footage about the revolution? He did a great thing to show the world.
While crossing the wall of fire, I remembered what my father told me, when I was little, he told me the best way to die is, in your sleep. I thought about it. hmmmm how would I do that? Sleeping pills ok, then I would be unconscious, anaten, he didn't want me to be in pain. He loved me enough to hat me, when I was little. Suicide would be a sin, eyes open. I can always get some asshlole or whore to take me out of the game called life. Not gonna be a hooker lol. Loopholes lol. I know them all lol. I'm a woman.
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