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My Story by Kathy Gold

My Brother Before OT 3

So in the life where my dad ran all the implant stations. I had a younger brother. He's here too. I loved him and he loved me. My death was extremely ugly, he saw the photos of my death and he was younger than me. He couldn't handle it. So they had to implant him so he could go on with his life.

He had to forget about the trauma. He was extremely enturbulated, angry, sad, grieving, his heart was broken. All he would do was just cry, for a long time. My father couldn't handle it anymore.

He had to move forward so that he could have a life. His dreams were political. My father, encouraged and guided us toward our dreams. So my father had him implanted and continued to flow power to his dreams. This is what parents do for their children.

Me and my little brother had our own agreement when we were little. I told him, I'd always be there for him, I'd always have his back. http://youtu.be/JIiAoXiumXA I would protect him from any harm, he would never have to worry about running for office or anything. I would always make sure nobody harmed him. He was my little brother. He knew I was an assassin ok lol.

In my next life, I ran into him on the circuit on one of my pick ups. He broke through his implants too and spotted me. He was now my older half brother in law. Him and Jett were not close at all. They really didn't like each other. Him and my father became distant after my death and Jett was closer to his dad then my little brother was. My death tore our family unit apart.

And my father moved on, he grounded himself in sex, the 2d and got a new wife. Started a new family.

He felt left behind by my father and felt alone. He felt my father got a new life and put all his attention on his new family and he felt non existent and abandoned and all he did was be his son. I was my father's fav ok, we worked together on a daily basis where my brother was not involved with that part of my father's life. Me and my dad had more in common.

My brother became an emotional basket case and my father couldn't handle it. He was like there is nothing more I can do for you, the rest is up to you. I can't hold your hand through this ok, go talk to your mother lol.

My little brother couldn't handle it anymore and did his own investigation. He felt people were lying to him every time he brought me up. He wanted to talk about me, he wanted to talk about what happened, he wanted some closure.

So on one of my pick ups, he popped out and said I want to talk to you. He was serious, this was big, important. Oh o lol. So I got in his car, a limo and and he asked me point blank if this was me, and then he whipped out the photos of me dead. I told him yes. His eyes welled up. He knew it. Then he let out a big sigh.

Finally, confirmation. He went silent, bit his lip and rolled his eyes. He was extremely upset. Not at me, just at what occurred. He felt cheated, he felt the asshole that killed me, stole our moment, our relationship, fucked up our family dynamic and stole our dreams, with that one act.

He was now an only child. He felt alone, abandoned. And he felt helpless, he felt there was nothing he could do to go back in time and fix it. He felt at effect. We had plans, an admin scale and this asshole took that all away. He tried to make sense of it all, some logic from it and he couldn't.

He was more emotional about it then me. It happened to me, but he was devastated, he fell apart. His whole world ended when I died.

As he got older, he came to understand what happened and why but he wasn't happy about it. My death affected alot of people that I loved and that loved me. Real, honest love. Somethings you just can't replace.

My brother gave me a phone, he wanted to stay in touch. I told him, it would not be ok. I wanted him to move on from the past. I didn't want him to be stuck in the past and go out of present time. I loved him enough to tell him the truth and let that life go. I didn't want to let go of him but at the same time, I had a new family and it would be unethical to keep him stuck in the past. So much pain. It was the right thing to do.

But I told him, if something ever happens, and you need me for any reason, you just call this number and I'll be there. http://youtu.be/nLpxnWH5F34I I looked at him as I gave him the number and as he took it he started crying. Release, then I started crying too. We both just sat there, tears streaming down our face, it was a relase for the both of us. We had a comm line and that comm line was cut when I died. But now, that comm line was repaired. And that's all he needed.

He told me, so many times, he'd reach for me but I wasn't there, he'd want to talk to me, but I wasn't there, it was natural for him, normal, but I wasn't there and that fact would get him going every time. The spin.

He'd even try to mock me up and start talking to me as if I was there, but it was pointless, because I wasn't there to communicate back to him. And that's what he missed about me the most. Our comm cycles, our comm line. He felt alone since my death. All alone and he didn't know where else to turn. I filled a void for him when I was alive. It's hard to explain but we loved each other very much.

After that, I never really saw him too much. There were family events, some how he found a way to not make them or he was really busy with his career, he kept his distance. It was easier for him that way, he got busy with his own life. It was easier for him to cope with it. And he never called me. He never made the call. I suspect, he just held on to my number, it made him feel safe just to know, if he ever needed to make that call, he could, he now had options.

And our original agreement was still in play. After all, I was now the commodore's daughter and what a great comm line to have huh lol. He felt safe, to have the whole military on his side if he needed it. It gave him comfort. Men are different than women.

Psych ops knew this, they had my case files. They were well aware of my family and their issues lol. It was also all approved. They oked me giving out my number, they understood, they had compassion and understanding.

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