In Regards To A 2d This Life
I'm pretty much done. I don't want to have sex with anyone ever again this life, nor do I want to be touched, hugged or even kissed by anyone ever again, this life.
Intimacy takes years to build as well as trust, it's not over night and I don't trust anybody.
Not gonna create anymore art, ever again this life. It's not profitable for more then one reason and takes alot of time to come up the conditions as an artist just to live let alone survive. My suggestion to the young artists out there, start young or go home, cause you won't make it. The cost of living is too high, you'll have to sell your soul if you want to be a full time professional artist. I'm not willing to do that. But you can. That is your choice. LMAO Let your friends, 2d's and family members use you as well as everybody in that profession. Cause to people in the industry, you are there to be used, what can you do for them. So, it's not a game I'm willing to play.
That life with Scott, I started out young not in my 40's. It took me 10 years to start coming up the conditions, he came back into my life, at that moment in time where my art started to take off and make money. I did that, he never helped me or did anything to support me in that area. He never knew how hard I worked, while I was out working, cleaning houses to pay my rent while getting out of non e as an artist, he was fucking other women, he was engaged to somebody else, another attorney from a different law firm. I wasn't sleeping with anyone and he was my first. I guess in that life, I was a sure bet, his long term plan. Sure he loved me that life but in all honesty, he was using me to make his life easier, I fit his admin scale. My secret in that life, I kept him extremely busy with the kids, handling the money, the royalties and managing our daugther's careers and the fear of losing his family and his money, kept him in line. He did drama rama after we moved to the suburbs but he never cheated, it was his foreplay and I played, it was fun. We were old, needed something and it worked for us in that life.
Not gonna change my mind. Based on everybody's actions, it's clear to me as a fuckin bell, that there are alot of men and women that are pedafiles. They put their own kids on psych drugs so they can molest them. It's extremely distrurbing and disgusting. The best solution is for me to leave planet earth, target 1. Get to my honey, who I know is not a pedafile nor would ever marry one let alone have children with one. He'll always be there for me, he's a stand up man and he's always taken responsibility for me, a man I can trust with my heart and soul as well as count on.
October 12, 2013
My 2nd dynamic got killed because of what happened in Aug/September of 1998. I died along with it. Since then I've just been going thru the motions. Going to work, getting a paycheck, paying my taxes, rent, insurance, buying food. Wow, big fuckin deal. My dreams died that day.
I tried dating, all I ever met were asshole men who didn't give a fuck about me and just wanted to use me, they didn't care about getting to know me, nobody was home with these men. And they don't pursue, they don't chase, they don't honor their agreements, they don't call when they say they are gonna call, they just play games, head games. Nobody put a gun to these men's heads and forced them to say they are gonna call and then blow it off. After a while, it got old, boring or same shit different day. Liars. It's all a fuckin job interview. Love is not a fuckin job assholes. They turn love into a boring job, slavery, death for women like me. I'm not here to cater to their ego, tell them what they wanna hear.
As for this, ha ha, do you see anybody reaching out to me? No, no balls. They are all cowards. Only a real man will do for me and there are no real men left here on planet earth, only loser, irresponsible, low ethics level douchbags. http://scientologyforyou.info/Im_Now_On_The_Market.html
What turns me on, ethics level. I get a sexual rise from a man who has a high ethical and moral level. High ethical and moral standards and I haven't met any men out there with that.
These men, on this website, all have one thing in common, low ethics level. Sure they'll kill you to survive, to save themselves, but that's them on their 1st dynamic. They'll kill their 2nd dynamic to survive, they'll kill their 3rd dynamic to survive, they'll kill their 4th dynamic to survive. Their computation, me or them. Them dead is the greatest good for my dynamics. It's a non pro survival computation. They only care about their 1st dynamic, themself. The rest are just lies. Lying to everybody else.
When push comes to shove, I prefer to be with a man who would die for me so that I can survive. That's real love. True blue love. Not the other way around. Find a manipulative whore, she'll die for you, they love to bleed for love. Their game. Not mine.
I don't live to get up to pay bills, there has to be more to life then that. Everybody fucked me this life, by lying to me, not honoring their agreements and stabbing me in the back, across the boards diagonal.
I'm not mainstream. I'm me. I'm done, I want all men to fuck off, drop dead for all I care. Once I secure my place of residence, I'm done, I'll just drop my bod.
How easy to kill one good woman in middle class heaven, one honest, direct, open, overt woman. I'm not a manipulative whore. These men can't handle the truth and I'm not gonna wait around for one guy on planet earth to get it, now that's crazy. By the time it happens, if it happens at all, I'll be in my 70's or 80's, so really what's the fuckin point. It's a waste of my time.
And it's too late for me to have kids, I'm 46, not gonna have children in my 50's. Now that's crazy. So, my 2d line is cut, I wanted to have my own family, my own children. You can't marry someone and not tell them what happened, withhold it, you have to be honest otherwise you base your entire marriage and family on lies.
And someday that tape will come out, how would he and my children feel, they would feel betrayed. I don't betray people, you do. That's all you people do, lie after lie to cover your ass of betraying. I'm not in lower conditions, you all are LMAO
Nobody said, I had to grow old, die naturally LMAO, no where is it written. That's the game you idiots play to have a game cause you're so fuckin stupid and of course a low ethics level.
Reality. My revenge, you won't be able to do RPEC, amends. No amends, no release from this rock, you fucked yourself, when you fucked me LMAO. 1 billions years, you chained yourself to this rock, planet earth target 1.
I'm outta here, this piece of shit planet with piece of shit assholes. After I've dropped my bod, I'll be laughing my ass off all the way to heaven, target 3.
A little fuckin note, not all women want to be step mothers to some other bitches kid/kids. You can all compromise your fuckin integrity to have a bullshit 2d where these assholes make you responsible across the boards diagonal for every fuckin thing, I won't. You can always be 2nd behind 1st or 2nd wife or even 3rd wife and of course the kids. You can be last on the list. I'm a selfish bitch, I'm always first or nothing at all.
The good news is, while your souls go into this rock to be entombed for betraying me for 1 billion years, I'll have it all on target 3 including Power LMAO fuck money, don't need money where I'm going LMAO.
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